Homecoming
One word
So many questions.
How did this even start? No on cares.
Is there a cure? If there is, I sure would like one.
What sadistic James Bond villain or prankster god decided to let loose his final curse on humanity? Probably all of them.
Is it ethical? Hell no!
Is it legal? Obviously.
Is it the product of a psychopath who forgot to take his medication? Most likely
What part of it even sounds like a good idea? None of it
It's really just a recipe for disaster.
Just take a cup of hormonal adolescents
And pour into cramped gymnasium
Thoroughly mix with an obscene amount of spiked punch and streamers;
Cause streamers make it festive.
Then, let sit for exactly five minutes for it to take full effect.
You know what, to hell with it
Leave it for five hours
Just to see what'll happen
Honestly, that many violent, destructive, unsupervised children in one place...
Might as well have crammed a drunk, radioactive hurricane knee deep in a vat of Nitroglycerin and exploding stars.
That'll sure will be a “Night to Remember”.
Granted, chaos on such a high level is almost poetic
All of these kids thinking,
"Oh, boy! This'll be fun and not destructive at all. What the worst that could go wrong"
But suddenly, Mother Nature, like the awful b@%&# that she is,
Takes control of the night.
And all those young, bright faced boys and girls
Poof! Gone.
What's left is a horny, angry, pot-headed hive mind with three primal instincts
EAT
MATE
FIGHT
Everything else is secondary.
And whilst your brain is in bed, dreaming of synapses and sugarplums
The earth shattering, atom smashing, eardrum blasting music
Forces your body into odd shapes and sickly convulsions.
You writhe and sweat and slink around.
I hope to god that there's a separate human being accompanying you
Cause, otherwise that's just not the kind of thing you should be doing.
But if you do have company, then you better buckle up for what comes next.
See, the Universe has a way of really nailing you in the nads, right?
But maybe, just maybe, he forgot to put on his spiked cleats that week
So it hurts just a little less...
That slow song comes on
(hopefully a Weezer song, cause you can't go wrong with them)
Things have calmed down a bit
And everyone's pairing up.
You look over into a clearing that inexplicably formed around the girl of your dreams
You saunter over all "smooth like".
She obviously laughs cause you weren't smooth at all
But she takes your hand and you make your way out.
You got her.
You can't believe it, but somehow you freaking got her.
She comes in real close.
And you feel each other's heart beat
And the hairs on your neck get staticky and stand on end.
You're bloods boiling
Yet you're shivering.
Time's slowed to a crawl by now.
And then she looks at you with those deep, dark eyes
And she comes right on in, taking leaving no time for thought.
This is the point where it gets really chlich? and what not
But I think we all know what's going on here.
That's really what it's for.
A few insignificant little ants on one of the trillions of minuscule grains of dust hurling through empty space at thousands of miles an hour
Trying to make they're crappy, crappy, oh, so crappy lives suck a little less.
Homecoming is disgustingly evil in every possible way
But it's also a beautiful experiment to make the lives of us ants just a little less crappy
And it's an experiment that didn't go horribly wrong