My Thoughts | TeenInk

My Thoughts

October 17, 2013
By Camiibear SILVER, Washington, District Of Columbia
Camiibear SILVER, Washington, District Of Columbia
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

If I could tell you all of my thoughts
My deepest feelings
I would
The problem is I can’t
Because no matter what
You always run away
Thinking that you can escape your problems

Sitting up late at night
Conjuring up a million different ways to talk to you
To understand what you’re thinking
Finally when I think I’m ready…
I can’t

I think about our “relationship”
That’s the problem
We never really had one
But you can show affection towards strangers
4 wives and countless step children who don’t even know you
Let alone like you
You find space in your heart for them
You treat them like they are your world
So what am I?
What is my sister?
With whom you never spent time

The man who is supposed to love me
Who brought me and my sister into this world
Who broke countless promises
Told infinite lies
Leaving a trail of disappointment in my heart

Detaching myself from a corps of hurt and pain
Keeping my sister from feel the same
Your trust is like a balled up piece of paper now
Its whole but never will it be perfect

Wanting to forget you
Part of me is screaming “give him a second chance”
The other part whispering
“He’s caused enough damage”

As both halves are arguing
It tears me apart inside
Knowing that you didn’t fight to keep me
Making me think that I was the problem
That I push people away
I felt as if I was the burden

For eight years now I’ve found my father
A man who was a stranger
Who I tried to push away
Thinking he knew nothing about me
Yet at the same time you don’t know me either

He never backed down
Or ran away
He accepts me and loves me
Who broke down my wall of separation
To protect myself
And treats my sister and I like princesses
Like a father should

All I can say for sure is that you have something of mine
Something that you don’t deserve
My trust, my love, my life
You didn’t seem to notice that I needed you
When I needed you the most
Now I have a father
I’ve accepted him as my biological father
You abandoned me and my sister
Now I’m in control you are disowned.


The author's comments:
I would like to thank my family and This was written for a project but its all my feelings.

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This article has 1 comment.


on Nov. 2 2013 at 9:22 pm
Pargaran SILVER, New Glasgow, Other
6 articles 3 photos 123 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are, and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss

Wow, this is very intense. At times I did wonder what you were talking about, though...it wasn't exactly clear all the way through. But I really like how you make a play on words. The part where you said something like "the two parts of yourself were arguing" was really cool. Keep up the good work! (: