green
I hate that color
It's the color of mucus, asparagus, baby food, and now my wall.
I told my mother it looked like someone smeared their vomit on my walls.
My sister got a baby blue, now covered with posters of whatever pop stars she's into.
Her covers a bright purple, which somehow matched her exuberant persona.
Her name is catherine.
A graceful name,
Mine is Jane.
I don't nessasarily dislike my name, my mother always told me it was a sturdy name.
For a girl.
Who wouldn't ever get in trouble, or go to jail.
But a girl who would never be significant.
Of course, my mother didn't say it so blatantly,
but living with a mother who uses subtext and sarcasm
you learn to read between the lines.

September 14
an insignificant day
of course my birthday just happened to reside on that day.
No one mentioned it
I didn't blame them.
catherine's first volleyball game was tonight
an important night
dressed in school colors
pea green and pee yellow
I cheer on my sister
beside my mother
viewing the significant girl
winning a significant game
whats so great about it I do not know
but I cheer.

A red F in marker was messily marked on my test
a F
Failed
my hands fidgeting from nerves
my mother will be so disappointed
with my failure in my shaking hands I approach her and tell her the news.
She sighed.
patted my head lightly and told me to try harder.
that was it.
no yelling
nothing
I didn't expect it to happen of course
but wouldn't it have been swell
to have been screamed at
been grounded
no tv
no phone
no friends
for 4 months
but it never happens like that
my f which so greatly disappointed me
was just an insignificant obstacle
from my mother's attention
which is only focused on catherine

I finished high school with a 4.0
catherine dropped out to be with her boyfriend.
mom didn't attend my graduation
she had to be at catherines
because in truth
catherine was significant
but so were my green walls
and my red F
and so was I
I was significant
I am significant
I always will be significant