At about 9 years old,
I sat in a tent inside
a school gymnasium,
watching Jurrasic Park
with my female cousin
surrounded by many other children
whose names and faces
I did not recognize.
It was all part of her
after school program,
which she had happily
invited me to.

The movie was very good
at the time,
but I had already watched it
so much that I quickly grew bored
and ventured alone to a room
where many other kids
who I did not recognize
were playing a video game
I had never seen before
on a PlayStation 2.
That was the latest technology
for playing games
at the time,
other than computers
of course.

I sat down beside someone who was at least 3 or 4 years older
than me,
and asked
"Can I play?"

The way he was dressed made me
think of myself,
very plain and not very appealing.

"Sure." he said casually, not seeming to pay much attention to how much younger I was
than himself.

I don't exactly remember what the game
was like,
but I think I was playing
as a purple cat
and I was running around
at night in some kind of city
that reminded me of New York.

I wasn't very good at the game
and kept dying,
so I gave up and thanked
the guy for
letting me play.

"No problem." he said as I handed him back the controller.

I had pressed pause
but as I left I heard
the sounds of the game
return.
Part of me wanted to stay
but I didn't want to bore anyone with how
bad I was at the game,
so I went back to the tent.

The movie was almost over
and my cousin turned to me,
asking me where I had been.

"I was playing video games." I said.

"Where?" she asked.

"There's a room over there." and I pointed at a wall in the tent that was facing
the direction of the room.

"We should go there
together." she said.

"Nah, the game wasn't very
good." I lied, not wanting her to see how bad I was at playing
it.

"Alright,
well what should we do?"

"We could go
to the drink machine,
I'm pretty thirsty."

"Alright,
did your dad give you any money?"

"Yeah, did your mom give YOU any money?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, let's go."

And as we walked I saw the door leading
to the game room
and I secretly wanted to return,
but my failure
kept me moving
in the right direction.