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The Actual Me
August 22, 2013
I’ve made mistakes,
But it’ll be okay.
Cause it’s not just me,
We’ve all got them.
No longer will I
Be ashamed for being me.
It’s all behind me now.
The walls I’ve built
Can topple over.
The lies I’ve told
Can wash away.
I don’t want to be fake
Or try to fit in.
I want the actual me
To be what people see.
The sorrow and shame
I’ve felt for who I am
Don’t define me,
Not anymore.
© Sarah I., Surrey, BC, Canada
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 9 comments.
TheMaskedPoet SILVER said...
on Nov. 3 2013 at 1:34 am
Yeah, this is one of my poems that is more driven by the emotional state I was in. After your comments I'll definitely look at it and try to edit it more to fit what standards I want my poems to be up to.
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 2 2013 at 10:34 am
I like the overall meaning of this, but (especially after reading your other work) I feel like it could have been executed better. To me, this reads like something that was written in a bit of a haste, probably because you were very emotional at the time. I think it's a great rough draft, but a little bit of editing could help it come across even better to the reader. Mainly, I would recommend looking at it from a more stylistic perspective. Good work though. :) Keep writing!
TheMaskedPoet SILVER said...
on Sep. 1 2013 at 8:48 pm
Thanks for the critique! I'll have to think about everything youve said. :)
I like the idea, for sure, and it was very well thought out, I can tell.....I just thought there might be something missing. But that's my opinion, and the poem is still lovely. It just doesn't seem to have the right flow/rhythm to it, but maybe that's just cuz I like more stylized poems. Great job, keep it up :)
TheMaskedPoet SILVER said...
on Aug. 31 2013 at 12:11 am
Mckay, I'm glad you were moved by my poem. Thanks!!!
I LOVE IT! It's about time people start standing up for themselves and be proud of who they really are. I don't want to live anymore in a world where we fear of being who we are. This is genuine and relatable. I know many people right now want to stand up for themselves and be proud of who they are. It's time.
TheMaskedPoet SILVER said...
on Aug. 29 2013 at 11:12 pm
Also, thanks for calling it inspirational. That one word means a lot when descrbing my work. I aim to try and give a message and help people learn from my mistakes. :)
TheMaskedPoet SILVER said...
on Aug. 29 2013 at 11:11 pm
I'll really take that into consideration next time I edit it. I do understand what you mean by that. The amount in there can be a little much. I just haven't figured out how to do it with a little less, haha. Thanks!
