There is no doubt, but angry still lives here
9 years later n my thoughts are still unforgiving.
Please don't look, the angry is like radiation.
DADDY NO PLEASE
But the hits still came left from right, no help as his wife
sat and watched.
Being strong and determined is what i got, but feelings is what was lost.
I stand alone, n gets hurt by no one.
Tears start to flow when i think of the years with my Father.
But till this day this guy is still my best friend and will always
fight for hym.
It was hard to cover the bruises when the teachers are all
down your back and asking questions.
But no Daddy alwayz told me what happens in this house stays in this house.
And it did till the teachers got curious as to why i was wearing a turtle neck
in 88 degree weather.
And all the question got me angry so i directed all my angry to the poor little
girl next to me.
Finally the teacher got tired and sended me to the office for bullying.
But was she the one who was really getting bullied or the girl who has to
sit in acohol After every beating to relax the bruises.
Why was it that the bruises need to relax, when it was truelly me who needed
the relaxing.
Daddy came to the school and first thing he said was,"You know your getting it when you
get home."
What fear i had lead my body and snook right out the back door of the school,
blocks n blocks i went but everything seem to keep popping up till i realized,
im going nothing but in cicrles.
Still walking a car pulls up and says are you "Countessmurron."
I said no very quickly and et her drive by, i breath too soon
coming in his dark blue cadliiac was dad n he looked hotter than hell.
I thought i could out run him but i had no place to go so i put up the
white flag and finally surrender and get my self ready for what was waiting for
me at home.
Go use the restroom Pat saids as she goes and gets the neww paddle she bought.
Tears are heavier and i stay to my self be strong so no fear, and i repeated this
again n again.
The chair was waiting n i bended over it and befor i need it blows up the paddle,
made me weak, n fall to my knees.
Get back up Murron he says, then it goes again n i fall so this times he sitts on me,
and makes the swings come faster and harder. Throwing up to keep from crying was all i
could do. Count thats enough, and now the devil wants to have a heart.
But no he wasnt done, he needed me to understand that this was not exceptable,
he needed the other children to understand.
Finally he tired his self and stopped and looked n said go clean your self up.
Sad thing was i coudlnt move, n so i lied there.
The devil had ran the water and set it up and carried me in there looking worried.
Why do you look like that, i asked like i really cared bout how she feel.
And she laughed and said your just like your father, then she walked out the room.
Sitting there bathen in all my bruises i finally let the tears flow, and thinking am
i even blessed to be alive or does he still want me to suffer.
Would i live to get married or to seen my 8th birthday.
The door starts to open and i wipe my face showing no mercy, and there he was
happy as could be. Then i looked up and he said,
"You know i only do this because i love you."

Only A Fathers Love