His presence makes me stop breathing
I can't think
I am not in this world when his presence is here
Why is my brother's presence effect me so bad
is because he reminds me of the man that hurt me
that man was "my father"
"My father" is the man that I will never love
the man I will never respect
he is no father to me
but a man with demons that tries to throw them at me
my brother and I haven't spoken in ten months
within those months he has shown actions and words that are similar to "father"
I am terrified of my brother because of these reasons
and so I may always be in shock when my brother is around