You Were | Teen Ink

You Were

June 13, 2013
By uhmjanis BRONZE, Irvine, California
uhmjanis BRONZE, Irvine, California
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

You were
Dancing along my skin
When I picked up the razor, you
Enveloped every inch of me
Until even the
Blood on my wrists froze
And turned pure white

You were
Ocean waves
Soft and soothing
When I tried to drown, you
Pushed me back to the shore
And filled my lungs with memories
That made it okay
To breathe again

You were
UV rays searching for skin cells
When I hid in the dark, you
Found cracks in my heart
To pour in through and
Reminded my veins
How much they loved warmth

But then you left

The sink is now splashed with
Red raindrops
The ocean is darker than
It was before and
I have sealed my
Windows shut

I guess
I should've known
Snowflakes melt
Waves crash
And the sun always sets.

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This article has 3 comments.

on Sep. 23 2013 at 1:22 am
uhmjanis BRONZE, Irvine, California
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments
aww that makes me feel so good about my self hahah :) thank you! i just posted a new poem so go check it out! 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 28 2013 at 5:06 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Seriously, you're one of my new favorites on this site. PLEASE LEMME KNOW WHEN YOU WRITE NEW POEMS! I love your style and technique in writing. It's simple but so professional. Not many people can write like this with simplicity and elegance. I love this poem and every imagery you chose. You're talented and NEVER GIVE UP WRITING! 

on Jun. 15 2013 at 8:34 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

I love how you basically say that the narrator was saved by someone without exactly saying that. I love how that special person was the "UV rays searching for skin cells" when the narrator was closing himself/herself off from the world. And I like how you closed this poem as well. My suggestion (though you don't necessarily have to take it since the poem's already fine as it is) is that you say why this savior left. Amazing work and have a nice day! :D