Valentine's Ashes | Teen Ink

Valentine's Ashes

May 27, 2013
By TheHuntress BRONZE, Konstancin- Jeziorna, Other
TheHuntress BRONZE, Konstancin- Jeziorna, Other
4 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Why is it empty?
Not silver but grey.
Cannot it rain?
Shower life to the day.

Must the rose bloom,
in her royal red?
And prick at those
who water her bed?

Where is the song,
when the dance has begun?
Where is the thunder,
now the lightning has rung?

Why is it empty?
Crusted in chill.
Where are the colours,
For the wind to spill?

I curse my slumbers,
entangled in dreams,
where skeleton forests
in horizons scream.

Where is the spark,
to set them aflame?
Must my heart crumble
to ash, without rain?

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This article has 3 comments.

on Oct. 30 2013 at 7:24 pm
CrazySissi GOLD, Newman Lake, Washington
19 articles 10 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
My only love sprung from my only hate. Too early seen unknown and known too late.

This is well written and also i enjoyed the way it flowed. Keep up the good work. :)

Mckay ELITE said...
on Aug. 29 2013 at 6:20 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I like the rhetorical questions throughout this poem imbued with the emotional imagery. Well done. 

on May. 30 2013 at 1:19 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Oh, hello! So, first, just a little side-note.. I love how both poems you have posted have the word 'ashes' in them.. and a book you have in your favorites is called 'Ash'. That's really interesting. So, I really enjoyed the title. It was very appealing and I thought that the poem would be a great read. I love the picture, the heart to go along with the 'Valentine' aspect and the black and white to go along with the ash. You did a great job bringing everything together. So, now to the poem.. I love this poem. All of the questions are wonderful, I always say that I love when a writer includes questions in their work. And I really appreciated the set-up and the way the rhymes flowed. The simplicity was nice and just led up to a deeper meaning. You did a wonderful job with this.