Breathing. it's the only thing i can do successfully now. Everything i have tried before has failed. Dreaming. Wishing. Hoping. Nothing work. You killed it. My hopes. My dreams of us. You murdered it. Slaughtered it in front of me. i have never felt so cold without your warmth radiating from your white skin. i felt nothing. Numb. Unmoving, unwanted, unneeded, unwelcome. Everything you despised. i couldn't help but try. And fail i did as you when you ignored my presence.Again. I want you gone. Out of my life for good. But knowing you'll be around my windowpane glaring at what your unsure of i must say a few words. I don't hate you. But i don't like you. I never loved or was in love with you. But i wanted to. i don't want you in my life but back then your stares sent sensations through me. But now? i don't know. And I've yet to care because you mean nothing. Not my escape. Not my shelter. Not my anything. You. Mean. Nothing. And that's all you'll ever be to me until god say anything more. I shall not look towards you when times get rough. I shall look within myself because that is where i have found the strength to overcome you. The obstacle that has taken me a year or so to get over. I don't need you and never have. And it fills me with great pleasure knowing that
i never will.