Freshman year
A lonely girl sits off by herself to the side
Waiting for the day when she can fulfill her dream of being a writer
Going home, her parents are loving and kind.
But she’s all alone and could not be a fighter.

She’s approached by a group of girls.
Not the best influence, but she thought they were cool.
No red flags went up till that day at the mall, when they convinced her to steal the pearls.
She was coerced and coaxed. Though she didn’t get caught, she was made into a fool.

Sophomore year
Her dreams of being a writer have diminished to just a speck.
Her parent’s weariness wearing thin,
They fight in the throes of the night so she sneaks out through the deck.
Her friends comfort her with a tonic and a gin.

Her parents are too busy to notice her drinking and shoplifting.
While her friends offer her pot and she hesitantly takes a smoke.
She thinks she’s cool when her head gets muddled and her grades start slipping.
Pot and vodka each day until she turns the harder stuff like Coke.

Though she is popular, when she looks in the mirror, all she sees is fat.
So she starves herself to feel better
Only blood and bone she is while hunger is gnawing at her like a rat.
95 pounds, the scale says. She looks at it and says “Too fat, I must do better.”

Junior Year
The girls vision of a writer is no more.
She watches the destruction of her parents’ marriage while she pops a pill
Her former self is gone and now she is just skinny to the core.
“Can’t eat, won’t eat,” She chants with will

Her parents sit her down, they tell her that it’s not her fault.
She knew it was coming ever since the first yell so she sits stony faced and cold eyed.
Her family, now officially split into to two. All their good cheer has finally come to a halt.
Her parents send her to a therapist, surprised by her lack of reaction. But little do they know, that a little part had already died.

One lonely night, after popping a couple of pills and downing a few sips,
She sees the blade, shiny and bright.
Tentatively, she grasps the blade, places it against her warm skin. She wonders, “Now, what would I do if my hand would slip?”
She lets it slip, the blade cutting into her flesh, her blood shining in the night.
Senior year
All covered in cuts, the last thing she wants to do is chase after her lost dream.
Her parents have found a new person to yell at and it is her.
“You’re not good enough, you need to get your grades up.” They scream.
While the mirror yells “You’re not good enough, you need to lose weight.” She starts to fall and her vision starts to blur.

The doctors say the fainting was caused by lack of food. But she knew that she fainted because her soul was being eaten alive.
Hushed whispers around her hospital bed, while her mother sobs like a baby while hugging her lost teen.
She hears words like “anorexia”, “cutting”, “suicide”, “drugs” but she is confused. She yells “I’m not crazy, look how I thrive!”
“Everyone loves me. I have so many friends!” Yet when she looked around, they were nowhere to be seen.

After being poked and prodded, she is sent to rehab where they crowd in a musty, old room.
The doctors pitiful gaze, her mom sobbing quietly, and her dad can’t look her in the eye.
“Is it because of us?” Her parents ask. “We’ve given you everything, how could you do this to us?” The doctors take notes while she is sent to her doom.
She sits quiet and squeaks out a small sorry. No longer is she the popular girl, she is back to her lonely self but she still wishes to die.

3 months of rehab, she hated every minute of it but she persevered through, wanting to go home.
It was hard. She was forced to eat, disgusted with herself for getting fat. Her scars were fading and she itched to get her hands on a blade. The withdrawal of alcohol and drugs was the worst. No longer she could feel numb.
3 months it took, for her to be able to look in the mirror and not recoil in fear. 3 months it took for her to get out of all the gloom.
3 months, she was released. Hugged her mom and her dad, broke down in sobs. “I’m sorry.” They hugged her back and for a moment they looked like a family. But everything wasn’t back to normal, she wasn’t completely cured. These thoughts, these actions would haunt her wherever she would roam.

The Rest of Her Life
The girl went off to make her own living in the world. Finally, she could become who she wanted to be.
Went to college and became a successful writer. Realized that she too was as beautiful as the rest.
Every so often, she would glance at the blade. But she was surrounded by the people she loved. She was finally free.
Though high school was a not so distant memory in the back of her head, she was no longer depressed.