I’m sitting here texting someone who is no more than two feet away from me,
Because we think out conversation is too good for everyone else to hear
But it really isn’t
And odds are I’m going to show our conversation to someone else
Because the way I reply and the way I feel
Are polar opposites
In case it wasn’t obvious
I’m texting a boy
But not just any boy
The boy who took away my rationality
The boy who makes me feel like dirt
And that’s where the lack of rational thinking comes in
We’re best friends
Two peas in a pod located
In the friend zone
I can remember the worst night of my life
Simply by the words
“The night of throwing the phone five times”
The night where I was my most vulnerable
And you replied back
“Please don’t let it be me.”
A cliche idea
Unrequited love
But what the heck is love?
Is it opening up so a knife can be stabbed through
The most romantic of organs
Because that’s all I’ve ever felt
I’ve always looked at love
Like such a happy emotion
But if that’s so
Then how come it has left me sitting in my room thinking
“Why am I such an idiot?”
So I moved on
Or so I say
Never again bringing up the conversation of December
I play matchmaker
Say “You two are so cute”
As I try not to gag on the words that I just forced out of my mouth
I even go as far as to invite her to my party
Our party
The party we were supposed to get together at
The party where you made out with her
On my couch
I make jokes
I pretend I’m mad
I say things
Like “Why did you do that, that leads to babies you know”
And I send my best emoticon to say I’m sarcastic
And that I’m actually really happy you guys are finally getting together
Thank God for the invention of texting
Because it is so easy for me to hide my emotions
I can cry freely
Because you never knew my tears existed
And the next time we’re texting each other in the same room
I’ll reply the way I always do
But you will never know what you’ve done to me.