I need someone that I can run to.
The person who won’t need to understand
why I cut or why I’m afraid of everything
or why I keep throwing up my food.
Someone who will hug me and hold me
with no questions asked.
They’ll let me cry to them and they’ll talk to me.
And understand that
they can never truly understand me.
Someone who will know
that something’s wrong before I say anything.
The person who can see beyond my smile
to the pain that lies inside.
I need someone who thinks my scars are beautiful
and it doesn’t matter how much I weigh
or how fat my stomach is
or how my shake when someone so much as knocks on my bedroom door.
I need someone who cares.
Someone who really, actually cares.
The person who will drop the world
if they see me frown. Who will give up their life
for mine.
Someone who I would willingly do the same for.
Someone who I can tell everything, everything, to
and they wouldn’t judge me
for how much of a s*** person I am
or how I can’t go 30 seconds without faking something to myself or anyone else.
The person who would kiss my scars
and my lips and my forehead
and find a solution to the darkness that surrounds me.
The person who would wipe my tears
and brush back my hair
and would hold my hands when they start shaking
and hold me tight when I start breathing hard.
Someone who would defend me
if anybody had said anything
even slightly disrespectful about me
and who would write to me
and who would let me write them back,
but really write them back.
And they wouldn’t be afraid
of everythinhg I’ve written.
Someone I could show all the things
I have written and drawn
and who I could tell the sick jokes that I laugh at.
And that I could talk about suicide with
and they wouldn’t freak out.
Someone who would send me flowers
to cheer me up after certain days.
I need the person who would stand next to me,
hold my hand tight, at my mom’s grave
and who would let me cry
and would be in tears them self
and who would let me rant on about
what I miss about her and life before she died.
Someone who is gentle and strong
and protective and caring
and loves every inch of me whether it be
fat,
skinny,
scarred,
bruised,
cut,
weak,
ugly,
or abnormal.
Someone who will be my light
in this dark, dark world.