I wish I could take back those days when I never said a word about what’s was going on







But I did this to myself I can't blame anyone for the scars



Because I never let them help me I pushed them away



I left my family I thought I was doing what was best for them


But now I look at them and of what’s left of me going to the ground




I remember the first time the blade touched my skin I was only 13






Now I watch my 16 year old body dressed in white with pearls being placed in the dirt





I look over at my big sister seeing the tears that are falling on her faded black dressed Thinking how could I have done this to her






She walks up to my lifeless body and places a white and black rose

The meanings for the white rose innocence and youthful because I left to soon







The black for death and farewell because this is one thing I can't undo







I wish I could go and tell her I'm sorry and that I want to take it back




But now I'm only stand back and watch from a far



There is nothing I could do now

But watch over my sister and hope she will never do this


Because she is the other half of me and the only half that people see now








I will always regret not being there when she walks down the aisle or has her first child







And I will always be known as the girl who no one thought would ever think about suicide






And now I wish they were right
That those thoughts had never crossed my mind in the first place


I just wish I could tell my other half now that I'm so very sorry I left her in the first place