Right now, I’m lying in bed buck naked
snuggled up with a boy I don’t love.
He doesn’t love me either.
I’m pretending I’m asleep.
How did I get to this point?
Let me start at the beginning for you:
I was born.
No, I’m just kidding.
The real beginning was one year
and one hundred and eighty seven days ago
when I broke up with my boyfriend
and hooked up with his best friend.
Since then I’ve felt guilty.
Worthless.
Then another boy came along who
changed all of that.
He told me I would be okay
that I was worth something
and he answered his phone
every
single
time I called,
even that night when I was feeling really low
and called at 4:21 AM.
I fell in love with this boy,
but he didn’t love me back.
They never do.
So I settled.
I figured if I had something else to feel guilty about then I wouldn’t feel quite as guilty about my ex.
That rationale didn't really work.
Now I can feel guilty about my ex
and the boy who’s currently
playing the role of the big spoon
in his twin sized bed.
Lucky me.