"Do You Want to Have a Conversation?" | Teen Ink

"Do You Want to Have a Conversation?"

February 13, 2013
By Anonymous

Do you want to have a conversation?

I remember with such violent clarity; the nights of joyful whispering. We laid in bed, blinded by darkness. I listened to your dreams and how you flew above the trees; I listened to your voice of cement, cracking with each beat. You were breaking in the darkness; and I couldn't even see. Your voice became quieter by the weeks end;
“We cannot wake the monster.” Was the last thing that you said.

Years went by; along with homes and bicycles and the innocence of us. But there are times, I lie in the darkness, and I wonder if you still fly. I wonder if the trees have grown taller, and if your heart will ever mend.

I wonder if you still fear the monster who made you so quiet, and hid you in the dark; The monster who hurt you, crushed you, and tore you apart.

I remember with such violent clarity, that night of dreadful tears. We sat there, drowning with the memories. I listened to your nightmares and how you ran through the trees; I listened to your voice of glass, shattered with each beat. You were broken from the memories; and I could finally see. Your voice became quieter by the nights end;
“I have become the monster.” Was the last thing that you said.

The monster awoke in you; along with me, and all the others. But there are still times, I lye in the darkness and I pray and I hope; and I wonder if you still run. I wonder if the trees have grown taller, and when your hearts aching will be done.

I wonder if you fear the monster who grew deep inside, and locked you in the dark. The monster who hurt me, and crushed me, and tore us both apart.

I hope some day, you will have the strength to forget. I wish that some day, your heart will mend. I know that there will come a night, you notice the brightness of the moon; the stars will beckon and you will break out of your cocoon.

Lay the monster to rest, and away you will fly; above trees, and homes, and oceans of memories.


The author's comments:
This piece is about my oldest brother, who battled abuse from our father for many years.

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