I thought that you would come back,
I thought you said that you would
“Clean up your act.”
I thought that you were gonna get clean.
For you two daughters,
Me and my sister.

When I was young,
In Elementary school,
I would look for any sign,
That my mother had come.
A familiar smell,
A note saying she was there.

I would come home to look for her,
And she never was there.
And when she was she was faded.
And just went to bed.
She always told me,
“Baby, don’t worry. Mommy will get clean”

And I believed her.
What a foolish girl I was.
Always thinking,
“When I get older, I will see her again! And she will be clean”
But then she hurt me again.
She didn't stop,
And because of her my littlest sister,
Was born addicted to cocaine.

Because of her,
I may never see my baby sister,
And she may never know I exist.

I thought if she could get clean,
Then I could do anything.
But she didn't.
So I guess the same thing goes for me.
My dad always told me I was just like her.
Lazy, useless, and dumb as a bag of rocks.
I guess he was right....