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your eyes
February 24, 2013
your eyes are grey like ash
still warm from a fire
they pierce right through me
leaving me breathless and confused
exhausted
i can't resist you
i want you to lead me
in the dark
wherever you go
i will follow
you have no mercy
together we have no
regrets
I ve given you everything
everything i have left
please sever me off
make me forget....yes
© Katie P., Bethesda, MD
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 10 comments.
SarahGrac3 said...
on Apr. 16 2013 at 7:15 pm
I loved this! It had so much meaning which was really impressive. I don't have any critiques.
jonpettigrew SILVER said...
on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:16 pm
i meant she lol
jonpettigrew SILVER said...
on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:13 pm
thanks for suggesting him, He's now one of my favorite poets
It's hard sometimes to write meaningful, short freeverse, but I really really liked your lines (especially the first two ~) and I liked the ending. Some of the wording was a little bit confusing but I think it sort of actually fits with your style of writing! Excellent job.
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 31 2013 at 10:55 am
Wonderful! I ADORE the first two lines!! The ending was a bit of a twist, but I liked it! Continue to write as wonderfully as you do! BTW, these would make fantastic song lyrics.
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Mar. 29 2013 at 1:01 am
Beautiful and enrapturing.
You have Kay Ryan's simple yet sophisticated style. Can't wait for your future works. Do continue to write more stuff like this. Check out Kay Ryan's work to see what I mean if you don't know what I'm talking about. P.S She's last year's Pulitzer Prize winner for poetry (I think).
240 articles 20 photos 151 comments
Favorite Quote:
"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." --Marcus Aurelius