Wrapped limbs and whispers,
as I sat on the tiny bench across
from the pool, swatting the gnats.
I watched them in envy, wishing
that I too could be a girl in a
tank top and small skirt, loved
by the boys around her. But I
was sitting with the girlfriend of
a boy too careless to even show
up to the party at all. As I
nodded through all the stories
of graduations and successes
that I would never be part of,
all I could really think was how
much I wanted to be the waist
that his arms were holding.
As she walked away, I stood
and slowly approached him.
Pushing through the girls
swinging their hips and the
boys watching and approving,
I tiptoed towards him, hoping
he would stop me to chat.
As soon as I passed within
a short distance of him, his
hand reached out and gave
my wrist a squeeze. Stopping,
I smiled and said hello. He
told me to sit and I obeyed,
perching against the corner
of the bench, folding my pale
arms around my knees. As he
turned to me and began to speak,
I could smell the infamous scent
and felt the disappointment wash
through me as I looked at him.
His slurred words and sour breath
made me flinch without being
touched. The time I spent
wishing he would spend some
time with me, came crashing.
This is who’s touch and love I
craved? This mess of a man,
who I knew wouldn’t remember
anything come morning. We
were both intoxicated, I by the
expectations of the evening and
he by the contents of the bottle
in his hand. He turned and winked.
“Why don’t we leave this crowd
and go somewhere else,” he smiled
holding up the car keys in his hand.
I had enough courage to tell him
I didn’t want to go anywhere with
him, but not enough to take the
keys. And as he stumbled to his
car, I looked out onto the busy street
where passing cars had no idea
that his dangerous vehicle would soon
merge and share the roads with them.
Running across the concrete and grass,
I made my way to the driveway to
try to catch up to him and tell him
he’s in no state to drive tonight.
But as I yelled to him as he backed
the car out of the driveway, he
waved in reply but didn’t stop.
I watched the rear lights of his car
become farther and farther away
until he turned the corner, and
even then I was still frozen in place.