Welcome back from L.A.
Please do not attempt to unlock the door.
The locks have been changed,
I hooked the chain,
I even got a dog and he’s waiting for you, salivating,
Because I haven’t fed him in 5 days.
The shelter assured me he was vicious,
Hostile,
A danger to society
(You two might have been friends in a past life).
Please do not attempt to contact me.
I am fine,
Safe,
Eating well
(No, I’m not at my mother’s).
Go out, live your life.
I’ve FedEx-ed all of your belongings to your empty apartment on 75th.
And that shirt you spilled coffee on
Is waiting for you in the mailbox.
Please, dry clean and return it.
Thank you.
Please, don’t have hard feelings.
I still find you attractive.