Falling,
Falling
As if I can’t do anything to stop it,
but then someone……something catches me,
saves me from the deep destruction that I put on myself.
Are they dreams,
those painful feelings in my heart every time I see the picture of you?

Dark blue eyes,
bright smile
making me blush so much my face feels forever red
laughing like it’s no one else’s business,
even though people are looking all around.
Your body wrapping around me at night when I screamed out the terror of the world.
What has happened to me?
I don’t even know what…who I am anymore.
Can that change? Or will I be stuck forever?
My lips move but no sound comes out.
The words my mouth is trying to form, trickle of my lips as a slight sound comes out
“I love you”.

But then the darkness of what has been crushing me
caves me in.
The pain is blinding me from finding anyone else.
You were the person I needed…… I wanted but now that you’re gone I should let go
let
go
let
go
But I can’t
Will I ever be able to let our love go?

Wolfs River is where I saw your sparkling smile for the first time.
Where I said my first “I love you”
But does that matter anymore?
What would SHE say if you asked her?
Would she still LOVE you if you put her through what you did to me?

It was raining the coldest rain that has ever touched my skin
And you were there with me
You were standing right beside me
As I cried
As I laughed
As I held your hand
As I fell down dying inside seeing you kissing her



I saw your lips on her,
and your arms wrapped around her.
Like you love her
Do you love her?

What is love?
Has anyone ever answered that question?
I’ll answer it myself.
Its pain
It’s being there forever
It’s……. When you find the right person you will know.

But why did he do it to me?
Does she know how lucky she is to have him, when he just left me on the floor in a
Dark
Bloody
Puddle.
The scars I have will never heal
I needed someone to heal my wounds
Not make them worse
More painful
I didn’t need anymore.

“What happened?” Rainy asks.
What happened?
My world ended,
I was destroyed
I loved
I lost
The simple truth is I grew up.

I see her everywhere I go,
and he is always there right beside her
At least now that summer’s over the pain will stop
The burning fire in my heart
Wanting to destroy him
I won’t see him ever again
Right?
Is he really gone?

Oh God I hope.

But when the bell rings for school
When I finally get a sense of relief
I see him right in front of me

WHAT?????
NO WHY?

He smiles at her
That girl that he loves
I just have to get away from him.
He was no good
He hurt me, but why do I want him back?
Why does she even want him?
Did he only do those things because of me?
Did I deserve the pain?
The hate?
The destruction?

Can’t he just stop?

I see him
And
I
Fall


Falling

Falling



Gone



never
never
coming


back



Did I deserve your anger?
Does she?

NO!!!!!!!!

We don’t need your kind of love
We have our own lives,
It’s not my fault it’s not hers

It’s yours.

I saw your girl, Honey today
With the same bruises I once had
On my face,
And the same broken smile
And heart




She came up beside me
She sat down on the chair in front of me
She looked at me
And with that one look we both cried
We cried in pain
In sorrow
From the destruction
From the horror
Of him
Of that one man we both love

She is broken, but not worthless
She is a dove
And you are a falcon
She is the snow,
And you are the blood from the hunt
You are a hound from the Hunt
And she is your prey
Her fear makes you want her more.

I’ve become strong
Stronger than you would ever believe
You will never hurt me again
But now I have to help this girl
And keep her heart in on piece.

You sit in front of me everyday
And every time you turn around and look at me with that grin
I wonder
Do you know what you do to people?
Do you know how you have wrecked my life?
And Honey’s.

You think you own us
Well, you don’t
We own ourselves
We don’t need you
We are strong together
Her and I









She is smart I don’t know



How




Or




Why
You

Would



Even
Try
To





Hurt

Her


Is
It what happened to you?
Did a girl break your heart?

Honey should get out
Far away
Far away
From your smiling face
And your twinkling blue eyes
And your mouth watering body
And your dark and destructive personality


You try to destroy
Everything
Everyone

You


Have



Ever



Met
Even when someone
Tries
To
Love
You
You
Hate them











Those other girls in class love him
I hear them whispering about him
About how they love

Love
Love
Love
Love
Him
If they only knew what he can do?
If they only knew the truth.
I tried to tell them
But they said I was just jealous
That he broke up with me
As if
I can`t tell them about how happy
My heart is bursting happy I am
That I will never be his again
Never
Never

Never
Again


No more of this
No more of the pain he gives girls
But who will stop him,
No one
No one
Is
Brave
Enough

Everyone is scared
Scared of him
Except the girls
He always does this
He charms them
It’s the way he got me
Got me to be who he wanted.
What did he think?
That when he almost killed me that I
Would

Come





Back
To




Him?

That day at school walking
Walking, walking, walking
Down the hall I saw him
saw his face staring back at me
the evil grin of his is plastered on his face

So I ran
Ran
Down the
Halls
Crying
Dying
Being who I
Am
Now
Not what
I was before

He came up to me
His breathe sliding down my body
``Please, please no,” I cried
But he came
And held me against the wall
And I just closed my eyes waiting for the worst
But before anything happened
the
door
came
open?
Open?

``Luka get away from her” the saviors warm voice snapped.
When I say his name the pain comes back.
Luka
Why?
``Why she is mine”
``No`

And then it went dark
It went painful
It went

No

Where



Luka is gone
Well for a little
The cops came and took him away
Honey`s warm golden eyes snag on mine as to make sure I'm okay
Am I okay? No, but I`ll stay strong for her
She needs some strength
She needs some real love

Who was that boy?
Who
Stopped

Luka
Who

Was
Brave




Enough
To

Do
The
Impossible

The boy is gone
Was he ever really there?
Or was it just me
Was I just hoping that someone
Came in and saved me
But all I care is Luka is gone

Finally I find peace

But





Then
They














Brought
Me


To

The
Hospital


Cry
Answers
No
Chill
Evil
Run from it


Cancer?
That’s what they say I have
Why did this happen to me
I finally got my life back together
And
then
this

Who will come save me now?
Who will be my knight in shining armor?
Who?

Who?


Who?


Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But words
Can
Never hurt me
Never touch me
Never define who I am
Because the only person who decides who I am
Is
Me

The hospital is lemony fresh,
To fresh
Painfully
White
and
dull

So dull

But then the white knight comes in to save me
His sister is in the next cold bed
She got hit by a car
She might not make it
But I know I do know that I will be the one that saves him
And he will save me
He will make my life worth it
I hope

I turned over and looked at the little girls kind smile
Green eyes
They look as if they have never felt pain before
Not pain at all
She is all innocent and I hope she will stay away from all that pain.

I went up to the man
Her brother
And I talked
Forgetting
Remembering
And replacing
Bad memories that shouldn’t have a place in my mind anymore

He kissed away my scars
And even when his sister
Lived and left
This place I would call hell
he came back every day to love me
and heal my heart

but then the day came that I was so weak that I couldn’t even lift my head
couldn’t even open my eyes
and I
knew
inside after everything I went through
I was going to die
And my only wish is that my white knight will always remember me, and know that he healed me
Healed the bloody cuts in my heart

The bright, white lights
Shining on my closed eyes
I open them and I see the peace I have been
Missing
All
Of
My life
All of my pain
Disappeared
Like
It
Was
Never
There
And
I
have
Finally
Found
The
Peace I have been looking for my whole life
At the pearly white gates to a new adventure
A new love
A new world