memories so clear | Teen Ink

memories so clear

December 2, 2012
By thistoshallpass BRONZE, Fox Lake, Illinois
thistoshallpass BRONZE, Fox Lake, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The memories are so clear
As my sisters cried in fear
You had the belt once again
As you lead them to the den
I coward behind my mother
As you beat them one after another
Not knowing what to do
I hid and tried to forget the view
But sadly i could not
And now my life's distraught


The author's comments:
This is my first piece. tell me what you think please.

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on Apr. 14 2013 at 11:00 am
pizzapencil SILVER, Coon Rapids, Minnesota
7 articles 0 photos 17 comments
The rhyming presented a great transition from one line into the next! It's disturbing and  the use of language helps you to be able to feel what your character is feeling! I feel like it ended a little abrubtly, though.