To You | Teen Ink

To You

November 8, 2012
By wespired GOLD, Circle Pines, Minnesota
wespired GOLD, Circle Pines, Minnesota
10 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"God has given me the ability, the rest is up to me, believe... believe... believe." -- Billy Mills (Ox Lake 2008)

Girl (Only I know the name), this letter is only to make you smile. I am a big boy now, so don’t fret over whether or not you might break my heart now. If a torn heart is the outcome of trying to be with the person that I fell in love with that so be it! If my feelings was an acid, your feelings were a base, and pain was water we would have an acid base reaction. My whole younger life has been superficial puppy love, where I’ve only put in a fraction of my heart into it. I’ve always been in it for the pride! Whether it was to prove I’m not gay in middle school, to enjoy the fruits of an older girl two years ago, or to be with someone because they adored me last year it all ended up the same… with their hurt and tears. Now I’m on their shoes trying for all its worth to win over your heart! You may never see this letter, but if you do I hope you can see how much I care about you.
I will do anything for you! If you don’t know it was a huge deal for me to go to that scary movie with you then I’m telling you now. I know I said to you over and over again that it wasn’t a big deal, but I’m telling you now I care about you and going to that movie would have only been for you. I know that if you can give me just one more shot I can change your heart. I’ve never had any reason to give any other girls chances. If any girl shot me down I would tell myself “They don’t like me, and then I’m not going to like them!” I didn’t put up with girls that thought they were too good for me. I think I finally found a person that doesn’t think like that. You have such a big heart and open mind that I know you enjoy being with me. You make me feel so proud to be with you.
You are beautiful! Your eyes are dark and inviting, your hair is lovely and soft, and the way you walk is in confidence and uprightness. You are tough! You never give up when someone tells you you’re not good enough. When you were cut from the Track team you came to me asking for help training. I spent most of my life fighting other people’s opinions. If there was any trait I needed in a future, then your stubborn will to fight opposition is the trait to find! Your faith is in God and not in men! I know that you find it hard to trust other people and that it’s hard to open up to others. You told me this! If anything trust in God and pray that you find the right guy! I can’t promise that I am perfect, but I can promise that through my tears I have an honest heart that is breaking from knowing that all you want to be is friends.
I didn’t simply fall in love with you overnight! When I first met you I wasn’t on much of a hunt for any lady. I didn’t want to start anything with you other than a light acquaintance. After you made the first move to get to know me, I got interested in knowing you. Somehow in the process of learning about which you are, I got emotionally attached, and love sick for every piece of your heart. If you are still torn over your old boyfriend know that you will heal. You are trying so bad to hold onto him that you’re missing a guy who really cares a lot about you. You posted one day that “It hurts when you want someone and can't have them. But it hurts even more when you had that person.. and you lost them” Well right now I’m hurting, and don’t you feel bad about that! It is life! I am not Bambi or Barbie! I am just simply in Love and Love hurts. There’s nothing you can do about it if you don’t feel the same way. I still am holding onto the hope that you haven’t gotten to know everything about me. I don’t think you have any idea (unless you read this) that I care this much about you. It might even shock you! Nonetheless you are a miracle made by God and I want to be a part of your life forever.
For real, ME

The author's comments:
I finally had a moment where my motives were entirely right for somebody, but she doesn't feel the same way.

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