“Tidy your room or the bugs’ll grow”
I hear my mother say.
“They’ll creep up on you in the night
And breed in your pyjamas
And strike at the stroke of twelve.”
Monotonous instructions become post-its;
I see them on every surface.
“Pick up that pen lid,” my cat meows
“Or else I’ll choke”
The front door calls after me
“Did you leave the iron on?”
As I try to leave.
“The house’ll burn down” it shrieks
As I try to breathe.

I would sit down on the wall outside
If only it wouldn’t yell
“Think of the germs, think of the germs!”
I carry on walking.
Every stranger has a brown trench coat
A beard and a hat,
With neon arrows attached
“Kidnapper!” they blare, “Kidnapper!”
I seek a friend,
But as I find her a little devil sits on my shoulder
“She doesn’t care, what’s she got to gain?
Out to exploit, out to deceive,
Trust only yourself” he purrs,
As I try to breathe.