Imprisonment.
It’s all I feel.
Controlled.
It’s what my life is.
Sheltered.
It’s one word that describes me.
All my life these three words have haunted me.
How many times have I tried to be rid of them?
Too many times!
How many times have I succeeded?
None at all.
How much do I wish for a chance?
A chance to prove I am strong enough?
Too much!
So much it hurts!
It tugs at my heart with little hooks that will never go away.
They will remain embedded in me until I can be looked at as capable.
How much do I hate feeling incapable?
Too much!
So much it’s almost unhealthy!
It burns in my stomach with a fire that will always remain.
It will never go away until I can be seen as strong.
How much do I want to be known as strong?
Too much!
So much it brings sadness to my aching heart.
Unwanted tears fall in my hands.
They will remain and never go away until I’m seen as
Strong and Capable.
How much I want that!
Too much!
Too bad it’s only a fairytale and it will never come true
For an imprisoned, controlled, sheltered girl like me.