Sliding closer, suffocating;

This iron cage that is my mind,

I thought it would be different.

Am I stuck until the end of time?

I thought the river, the laughter would wash it all away.

I thought the smiles and the flowers might brighten this endless night.

I thought the sun might finally shine today.

But though it all wash over me, in swirls of bliss and jubilation,

I am caged.

For eternity, screaming as the lightening in my head strikes again.

The bright facade of smiles and waves,

Is my finest creation.

A shell to rest my caged head in

As I sing

As I sing the words I cannot say.

The mental anguish takes its toll,

The shell begins to fade.

I scramble to repair it

But the current is too strong.

It winds,

Oh it winds,

Around my ankles, struggling to pull this battered shell into its depths.

A moment of crystal clarity comes from deep within these sparkling smiles.

Oh rapids,

Grab a hold of me, pull me deeper, drown me with your wisdom.

This laughter and these muddy waters

Gave me more than I asked for today.



-J