What is this emptiness
This…fear?
I have never felt so alone as I do right now.
Time has passed and things have changed
And yet not a thing has changed

I’m still that lonely child stuck with her own feelings
Feeling abandoned and left behind
Helplessly alone
This feeling that is so often described
Can never truly be known
Until you do.

And when you do…

It’s been years and I sob as if
It was just today.
I feel so alone.
So…alone.
I never got over it.
Was never given a chance to accept it.

“It doesn’t matter”.
The words I wish I could take back so much.
God gives salvation for all who’ve sinned
But I don’t deserve redemption for this.
This is the worst sin of all

The mistake of thinking—BELIEVING—it doesn’t matter

The guilt I pushed aside
Has never left, despite the time
My heart breaks because of my stupidity
And because I could have saved you that night.
One phone call

And only God would know where we’d be

I hate myself for letting it happen
And for letting me brush you away
So casual as a fly.
You mean so much more to me
And I only wish that you could know that.

I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry
I'm so sorry!!
I’m so sorry!!!!!!!!

Nothing I say can change a thing.
So why bother wasting my breath?
Because I wasted yours
And I owe you your life for that

I’m so sorry.

If I had the chance to abandon everything I’ve accomplished
Every award I’ve won
Every grade I’ve gotten
Every achievement I’ve made in my life
If I could sacrifice it to bring you back
I would do so in an instant

Because I owe you a life.
And because I don’t deserve a thing.