Today was the day
I obtained everything I really wanted;

What they just happened to be born with
I learned and worked for it and now it’s all mine
But I’m unsure I ever really wanted
To become one with them
It’s made me into a monster;
The kind I always seemed to envy.

My past self hangs before me like fish-bait
Breathing only while I still allow it to
And I will preserve it;
I could destroy it, erase it, but I won’t;
I’m almost jealous of my past, lonely self;
Its unflinching independence...

I sink deeper and deeper; and the further I go
The less I can look at myself; how impure I’ve become

Maybe one day I’ll be allowed a moment to breathe