I love you I love you I love I love you so much
If I were a fist I’d give you a punch
If I were a monkey I’d screech in your ear
If I were a witch I’d fill you with fear

If I were a hobo I’d steal all your food
If I were a teenager I’d give you some tude
If I were a bird I’d poop on your head
If I were a dog I’d jump on your bed

If I were a tree I’d fall on your face
If I were an old lady I’d spray you with mace
If I were a cloud I’d rain on you all day
If I were a tax collector I’d make you pay

I love you so much
That I can’t wait a day
I promise dear sir
I will make you pay