Thanks for writing! This poem really reflected a lot of what I was trying to incorporate in my book... if you could check it out that would be great!

I feel bad saying that this piece is cute but the format and the rhyming make it seem that way. The topic is intense and I like that. But I'm going to comment the same thing on this article as I did on the last one: I think it's generic. I've heard it all before. I love your rhyming and meter and some of your content but you should add more personality and more details. Those very important things will make your work more unique. Also, you might want to play around with punctuations-they help portray emotions very well and I think would be a great addition to your work! Keep writing!