Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2198 comments.


on Oct. 21 2009 at 2:57 pm
FlyleafFreak DIAMOND, Loveland, Colorado
51 articles 0 photos 203 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I have faith in fools;self confidence my friends call it&quot;~Edger Allan Poe<br /> &quot;In this world of infinite insanity, your friends are the best psychiatrists you will ever have.&quot;~Me

Wow! This is amazing! The last stanza is my favorite! Keep on writing. =P

on Oct. 8 2009 at 7:25 pm
monalisa011 BRONZE, Lorton, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
This is really good... but the end is kind of depressing

slaubster409 said...
on Sep. 18 2009 at 12:14 pm
slaubster409, St. Louis, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments
Beautiful. I thought it was very expressive and good.

Minita BRONZE said...
on Jul. 22 2009 at 1:40 pm
Minita BRONZE, Fountain, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody just wnats to flow seperately

I love how the poem flows into one piece.

that father sounds mean!

wordluver said...
on Jul. 16 2009 at 6:19 pm
WHOAH Carl! this poem is so amaizing i really love the end it's so perfect although i just wanted the poem to keep going! haha well keep up the good work and keep writing you have an amaizing talent!

on Jul. 3 2009 at 7:14 pm
TheColorSilver PLATINUM, Commack, New York
27 articles 22 photos 33 comments
that was good, but the rhymes seamed awkward at times, such as "birdie"

Kinnery SILVER said...
on Jun. 22 2009 at 8:38 pm
Kinnery SILVER, London, Ontario, Other
6 articles 1 photo 3 comments
In general, I loved the poem. The rhyming was forced at times, though, especially at the part about the 'birdie'. The flow also got lost in some parts.



The themes, though, and the style too, were beautiful. You have a definite talent.

Evangalene said...
on Jun. 1 2009 at 9:52 pm
I must say, this poem you've composed, it is simply amazing. Not once have I heard something so beautiful and deep. The hidden meanings you could imply from such poem is infinite. Congratulations on writing what is (in my opinion) the most spectacular piece of poetry yet.

on May. 29 2009 at 10:53 pm
PoeticRamblings GOLD, Woodbridge, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Facts may be true, but there are very few people who dare to speak the truth.

Stunning!

erikaee SILVER said...
on May. 29 2009 at 8:02 pm
erikaee SILVER, Lake Charles, Louisiana
7 articles 3 photos 11 comments
pretty :)

on May. 29 2009 at 7:35 pm
HeavenCooley GOLD, Stillwater, Oklahoma
15 articles 0 photos 119 comments
wow this is totlly good!!! it sounds like you have alout of experince of writing!!:)

on May. 29 2009 at 4:45 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Some things will never change&quot;---Tupac

Wow! your poem was really good. Extraordinary! Outstanding! I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme used in this piece! Very good!

Anjo! SILVER said...
on May. 20 2009 at 4:46 am
Anjo! SILVER, Roseburg, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 211 comments
THIS IS SO AWESOME!! WOW!! I got chills!!!

on May. 10 2009 at 5:08 pm
Jenigreen SILVER, Mosinee, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Wow that poem was good and when I got to the end you left me hanging I wanted to read more

on May. 9 2009 at 4:45 pm
GreenWriter826 PLATINUM, McAllen, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;&#039;Their fruits like honey to the throat <br /> But poison in the blood&#039;&#039; - Christina Georgina Rossetti &quot;Goblin Market&quot;

this is good...i can connect to it and that is what is so amazing....bravo(applause)

on May. 7 2009 at 6:35 pm
knight3607 BRONZE, Holly Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
This poem is amzing!! this is my first time on the site, but after reading this peom I already love it!!:)

on May. 6 2009 at 11:03 pm
dude this poem was awesome. i loved it.

buggy BRONZE said...
on May. 6 2009 at 5:51 pm
buggy BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
4 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you were sensible, when I told you that the stars flash signals, each one dreadful. you would not turn to me and say &quot;the night is wonderful&quot;

okay I love this poem. It is really visual and it reminds me of the way my step father tells me to do what I want with my life; like my guitar and claranet; but he never supports it. I have been playing for over five years and he has never once gone to my concerts. he wants me to be happy but doing what he approves of. It sounds like you have similar experinces in your life.

on May. 3 2009 at 9:44 pm
thedaydreamer13 BRONZE, Delta, Ohio
3 articles 6 photos 40 comments
thats good!! you should write more!!! keep up the good work!!! :)

on May. 3 2009 at 2:16 pm
bookhugger14 SILVER, Delta, Ohio
7 articles 1 photo 32 comments
This poem is extremely well written and i love it! Keep on writing because this poem was really good. ♥♥♥