Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2194 comments.


on Oct. 3 2011 at 7:58 pm
AristotlesApprentice, Moultrie, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments
i love the comment below. very humorous. but this a very serious poem as well. i think, now this is just from my point of view, that you are showing how the son thinks that his dad his holding him back (being unencouragable) but whenever he lets him go, the dad sees his success and therefore cheers him on saying he knew he could do it. At the end when he said he saw his father pull on a chain, this shows how still, even though the boy is free, someone is always going to be in control.

Sexxxxyyyy said...
on Oct. 3 2011 at 10:21 am
your dad seemed very controling!!

on Oct. 3 2011 at 10:15 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
plz check me out i wanna know if im as good as the people on here 

on Oct. 3 2011 at 10:14 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
really good please check me out

on Oct. 2 2011 at 10:58 am
Trixie.B.Rose GOLD, Boulder, Colorado
16 articles 11 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher

I was also wondering, how the bound was related in the poem, you explained it perfectly! :)

on Oct. 1 2011 at 8:38 pm
14hipkri PLATINUM, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
22 articles 10 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Is that when you get you're thinger off you're thinger?"-Eric Stopper

I love the imagery used in your poem, Very nicely writen, I also love how it has such a good rhythm and rhyme. :)

on Oct. 1 2011 at 12:23 pm
maraquette.koss SILVER, New City, New York
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments
I agree, especially the line about the birdie, it sounds childish

MsBrightside said...
on Sep. 30 2011 at 10:52 am
I totally agree. It had a strong, lead to it in the start. You have an image in you'r head of a child questioning the father, than it leads into something about a sky and a chain, (Which I do understand is connected in sorts of ways), I think if this person wants all of these lines included, it should become a story told in a poem, with more reasonings and new pictures, its like thoughing a bunch at me without explantion.

MsBrightside said...
on Sep. 30 2011 at 10:48 am
Honestly, the start of the poem was pretty good. I felt as if you were starting a story that would lead to a moral lesson, or stick with the title really. Though it seems as you read further and further, the poem digresses and you tried to hard. I think it needs some work, but it was a great start truly, keep up the good work!

.meadow. said...
on Sep. 29 2011 at 8:52 am
.meadow., Evanston, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Don't tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.

I liked it but... the line "as i gazed at the birdie" seemed forced, like when i'm writing and i say, "oh, what rhymes with luck? duck." and the poem takes a weird new path.

Aiden PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 28 2011 at 5:51 pm
Aiden PLATINUM, Vicksburg, Michigan
22 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
i am me, that's all I'll ever be.

omg. im speechless. this is just beautiful. no words can do it justice.

on Sep. 25 2011 at 12:34 pm
bpjrobert SILVER, Wakefield, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Veni Vidi Vici"-Julius Caesar

 

I like it. Favorite Quote- "Then I knew that I was bound"


on Sep. 24 2011 at 2:53 pm
hearmyvoice BRONZE, Trumbull, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Its hard to get framed if you're not in the picture.

i like the story but some of the rhyming seemed forced. the overall theme was great though so good job

BeingAnna GOLD said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:36 pm
BeingAnna GOLD, Montreal, Other
13 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty<br /> -Marilyn Monroe

And you are welcome :) You have an amzing talent and I cannot get over how beautiful this is. String emotions must have been felt to write something so powerful. Never stop writting.

BeingAnna GOLD said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:29 pm
BeingAnna GOLD, Montreal, Other
13 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty<br /> -Marilyn Monroe

I completely agree! Thanks for understanding.

on Sep. 23 2011 at 7:37 pm
Smiley1068 SILVER, Capitola, California
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don&#039;t let anyone control you

All I can say is wow!

Old-Ham SILVER said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 5:56 pm
Old-Ham SILVER, Braidwood, Illinois
6 articles 1 photo 2 comments
so.beautiful.

on Sep. 23 2011 at 5:55 am
thegirlwiththemessyhair, Singapore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i think it means that the dad is too overprotective and while he won't let the son fall, he won't let him fly either.

Mrs.parez said...
on Sep. 22 2011 at 1:15 pm

this is a lovely poem

 


gonzalo said...
on Sep. 16 2011 at 2:33 pm
I liked the poem because it tells us the importance of the fathers to protect us.