I woke up this morning
And had dreamed of Him all night
I thought He was here
Thought He was alive
But He wasn’t
And of course
I started to cry
I woke up this morning
And when that hit
My stomach started hurting
Hurt to the bottom
Like a pit
It echoed inside of me
‘Til I felt nausea and weak
I scrunched up in a ball
Refused to go back to sleep
It’s so quiet in the house
Just like it used to be
But there’s a lack of stomping
And
It’s hard for me to see
With all the tears pouring
And the sunlight coming in
It still feels like winter
Barren
And thin
You know that red tea I tried Friday morning
With Him
That’s all I can manage to drink
Plus water
I barely eat
Can’t watch cartoons
I see Him out of the corner of my eye
Everywhere
Whenever a door opens
I stop breathing
Thinking “DADDY, DADDY YOU CAME BACK”
But it’s not Him
And I hold back my tears again
I woke up this morning
Feeling cold and alone
But that’s okay
Because I’m starting to get it in my head
That I am never alone.