As I lay here , tears mixed with the water
Rushing above my body, washing away the traces
Motionless yet my mind is racing through time
Can feel the pumping of my blood circulating this numb body
Thudding unevenly , sensing that some thing's not right

I reach to feel my arms and an electric current rushes through my cells
I feel something on my finger tips, where I touched my arm
Wet and warm, I couldn't bare to take a peek, I knew what I would see

My breathing was slow and cautious, as if one wrong move can alter the system
Trying to sit up straight I push my palms down
As if the ground will somehow provide me with the power I lacked, the power I craved

The will to get out of this seclusion that's taking over me gradually

The ability to stop my mind from thinking, even if it's just a minute - to have some peace of mind

The strength to put on a brave face like I used to do, and not kill the act with a single tear

This time I force myself some more and manage to stand up, the feeling of the warm liquid
Trickling down my arms and legs, the tears still seeping although I've lost control over them by now

Dabbing at my eyes with the now reddened towel, begging my brain to stop the emotions
I turn to face the mirror, the one act I've been dreading

I should've been shocked to see my reflection, but the expression of the girl in the mirror was calm
A feeling that I no longer possessed , or so I thought, lately looking blank came naturally

I take a deep breath but I stop halfway as an aching grows in my chest,
letting the breath out helplessly, i look at the girl once more, look her in the eyes
And we both know that I have to carry on. Doesn't matter how or why. I just have to