I trace the rim of my coloring book pages with my bare fingertips

Hoping to cling onto any chance of an escape

With every page turned…I grow older

As my soul reflects off the brightly colored pages

One by one… that sweet glimmer begins to fade

Slowly at an instant these pages become a distant

Memory of something that was

All I want to do is color outside the lines again

Grasp hold of that sweet glimmer for as long as I can, before it leaves me…

If only I could just…

If only I could



Staring into the mirror a beautiful white dress

Painted on this grown body

Like a fairytale… and yet

Dissatisfaction grows in my stomach

growing and growing

Tossing with the bittersweet rum from the night before

It’s everything I thought I always wanted

A deep heaviness, this wedding dress drapes over my small temple

Oversized.



Swallowed by the ticking

As it rings in my ear

It sings the melody of a death march

And as I take my last walk

Pounding, Pounding, with a kind of urgency

I taste the bittersweet rum in the corners of my mouth

Stronger and stronger the aroma engulfs me

Drowning in bitterness

drowning… drowning





Enclosed by fear I want to run and scream

I want to be saved.

But there is nowhere to run

But there is no one to cry out to

…there is no one that can save me

So I march down the aisle

And on my face I hold an empty smile

Just like the lonely, unhappy watchers beside me

With this smile I’m just like the rest of them..





In my mind,

all I can do is trace those colored pages of my childhood

over and over again

One last hope. One last clutch.

With every step, my memory fades

And those colored pages turn to a deep grey, blank and

Empty

“I do” comes out of my mouth, but it is not me who says it

Its Something inside me… I can’t escape

It won’t let go of me. I can’t let It go either



But at once everything I once knew washed away

And like those pages I too go blank

Left there my very last memory… before the kiss is that Distinctive

Taste.

The taste of bitter sweet rum…

Being casted up to a great sweetness