Once upon a time,
sad our story can’t begin with that phrase,
that’s how the happy love stories begin
where girl gets the guy of her dreams
becomes queen of somewhere
and they have 2 children
a boy and a girl
the perfect number,
perfect combination.
Our story began happy enough,
you asked me out on a cold wintery morning
I had no coat
you were like my knight in shining armor
as you relinquished your sweatshirt
it smelled nice
like pine
and firesides
you looked at me with your bright green eyes
I said I’d never seen you before
you said you were new
I pulled out your schedule
first four classes of the day together
then lunch
then you had AP Calculus
I had Pre-Algebra
I asked you if you could help me with that
yes
we walked together
someone knocked the books out of your hands
I flipped them off and said
“real tough tossing books out of the new kids hands ass-face”
You laughed
Just like the fairytales
our hands brushed as we stooped to pick up the spilled papers
it was like an electric shock had run up my arm and down again
You looked at me with those beautiful eyes
you said “would it be ok if I took you to dinner tomorrow night?”
Yes
We met,
you tied a blindfold round my eyes
led me carefully by the hand
I wondered where we were going
A whisper in my ear causing my stomach to flutter said
“It’s a surprise”
You sat me down on something soft
pulled the blindfold off
On the top of a cliff
overlooking the whole town
behind me a dinner from “Pizza Hut” spread across a blanket
You wrote the words “I like you” in the pepperonni on the pizza
I leaned in for a hug and said
I like you too
We ate silently
looking out over everything going on
lights darting
like tiny fireflies
we stayed out all night watching the stars
we saw one shoot across the black void of the sky
you said “That’s our star”
I said “It’s an airplane”
You said it was ours anyway
You kissed me when at last it was time to go
you said keep the jacket,
it looked better on me
Everything was going like a fairytale
and it did until that night
you came home late
bloodshot eyes
I asked you where you’d been
you threw a vase at me
yelling that I should leave you alone and stop interrogating you
I cried
went into the bedroom and sat alone
you came in and sat next to me
you were sorry
it wouldn’t happen again
but it did

we started fighting
you started yelling at no one in general
all hours of the night
I would creep into our sons room and sing loud
trying to keep him from getting scared
He looked up to you so highly
You were his favorite person

I finally kicked you out
he ran into the street
toothbrush in hand
screaming
“I want to go with you”
You said no,
and rode away
I held him close,
said you would come back when you weren’t sick anymore
when you were sober

Six months later
and our story has no happy ending love,
no sunset walks along the beach
just this pen and paper in my hand
the busted beer bottle in yours
this is how our story ends
a jagged cut across my face
blood snaking down across my cheek
you’re not the one who’s hurt
I didn’t hit you hard
you’re not the one who’s been hiding bruises
you’re not the son who will never have a father
I bend down and touch your cheek,
its cold
you’re cold
I go to the closet
pull out the jacket
old and forgotten
I drape it over you
It looks better on you
I think
Our son wanders out
Is daddy sleeping
he asks
pillow and blanket in hand
Yes honey
Can I sleep out here with him? It’s scary in my room
and he never looked
for the monsters.
Yes honey
Next morning
he wants to know when you’re going to wakeup,
and why you haven’t moved
all I can tell him is that daddy isn’t going to wakeup for awhile
he’s going to go somewhere he can sleep real good
The ambulance comes for you
they drop the jacket on the floor
I hold it close to me crying
the only part of you that’s never hurt me
When they take you away
Your son puts a pillow, blanket and toothbrush with you
“Why?”
“He might get cold, and everybody needs to brush his teeth.”

I wear your jacket everyday
trying to remember the you I once knew
At your funeral I place it over you in the casket
I say
“It looks better on you”