I lacked security,
claimed comfort,
craved sin.
A solitary being trapped in a tool-shed.
The loss of confidence, the redemption I dreamt.
Though some claim suicide,
I genuinely desired the much dreaded end.
Prayed to the knives
To yield me from my despair.

Though some chant “that every cloud has a silver lining”,
The statement is formed purely out of desperate fear of life existing without the security of bliss in every malady,
And the egotistic animals who scream praising god,
Are slowly melting inside: melting out of panic.
Of questions lacking answers, or answers that fail to satisfy.

And these emotions I encountered during this year of pure agony
Suddenly began disintegrating as I met a girl who suddenly made the world so much clearer to me
I encountered my best friend in the entire world, one who I often despise
Sometimes annoys me to the point where I am on the verge of going mad
Though I love with all of my heart for she is everything I am and everything I am not

And though I may sometimes be cruel
Often yell and claim she is means nothing
She is my best friend and my everything