Perfect | TeenInk

Perfect MAG

September 1, 2007
By Marika Tobak, Fort Bragg, CA

Perfect strangers in perfect harmony
You and I would make a perfect “we”
If you think about it illogically
Because logic never helped us see
You and I would make a perfect “we”
Define “perfect” and I think you’ll agree
Because logic never helped us see
The truth of what things are and could be
Now I break this rhyme
Break out of time
Because time is an illusion as you have ­eluded me
I’ll make a new beat
Dance with bare feet
In the rain
Forget my pain
My shame
Each loss without a gain
But I cannot forget
Those burning eyes
That turned my eyes
And churned my mind
Until
All that was left was
A single thought
A single want
A single need
But sometimes fear is more powerful than greed
So I turned aside
Closed my eyes
And mind
Pretended to forget
Pretended there would be no regret
But my action
Or lack of
Was worth regretting
Crying as my sun was setting
Denying me you and denying you me
Denying what could be
Denying us “we”
And if you think about it illogically
All there ever was was
You and Me.



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This article has 10 comments.


on Feb. 8 2011 at 11:09 am
HisPurePrincess ELITE, Flemington, New Jersey
132 articles 33 photos 483 comments
oh my goodness, this works so well.  it's just breaktaking and beautiful.  well done, good words and choice of rhyming, the rhythm is awesome.  i just love it all.

on Apr. 1 2010 at 9:51 pm
fatomelette BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
I love this. I love how it flows, and the message. All of it [:

on Nov. 20 2009 at 1:41 pm
CherishFaith GOLD, Soldotna, Alaska
18 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm living on the edge with perfect balance.
-cherish Faith

it came right from the mind, without any editing. It shows more emotion and less of trying to make it a "better poem." The writing style is illogical, just like the poem is writing about. So speaking illogically, i think it is perfect.

on Nov. 20 2009 at 1:39 pm
CherishFaith GOLD, Soldotna, Alaska
18 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm living on the edge with perfect balance.
-cherish Faith

very good. I'd have to say you are a wise thinker, i can relate. Especially how you know that time is an illusion and in the end love is what matters, not logic. i LOVE it (:

on Jul. 28 2009 at 1:09 am
writtenchaos BRONZE, Trabuco Canyon, California
4 articles 1 photo 5 comments
I love this one. Like lovehate29 said, excellent rythm - it pulls everything together.

Love2Write said...
on Jul. 27 2009 at 11:38 pm
I absolutly love this poem.

on Jul. 27 2009 at 8:36 pm
YeseniaG SILVER, Livonia, Michigan
7 articles 1 photo 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.

wow that was great and i do think it flowed quite well

on Jul. 27 2009 at 5:52 am
okay, no offense Marika but though I do think your poem is wonderful, and the imagery exercised is brilliant that you could do a bit more editing to make it more flowing and beautiful.

on Jul. 6 2009 at 8:03 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

Okay! First, WOOOOOOOOOOOOW. I absolutely, definitely LOVE this piece of yours. The rhythm is just amazing. The image you created is beautiful. The emotions you rose are intense. As I read this piece, I could imagine as much feeling you put into this piece when you're actually reading it. It is amazing, easy to understand, but complex still in a way. It's my favorite. Good job!

on Jul. 5 2009 at 12:45 am
kookymnstr PLATINUM, Crowder, Oklahoma
27 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
" One good thing about music, When it hits you, You feel no pain."- Bob Marley

I love this poem best ever you should check out some of mine...