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To Disappear
When I close my eyes
 I feel:
 Less worry
 Less pain
 Less self-consciousness
 But more thought
 
 Thoughts of myself
 Of writing
 Of my mind
 Of my soul
 
 I don’t notice
 The stolen glances
 The prolonged stares
 Or any tension in the room
 
 I sense no distraction
 No anger
 No sneers or winces;
 Just the blurred blackness
 
 I hear the birds chirping
 The fidgeting of those around me
 The faint heartbeat from within me
 The tranquil whoosh of my breathing
 
 When I open my eyes 
 I stumble back into a false reality
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