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i cannot

March 18, 2010
By secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
More by this author
secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
12 articles 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
life had i loved the more
had it but passed away
as quietly as the day
ebbs from the darkening star.


-emanuel litvinoff

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I cannot breathe without your grace
As its only by your face
I can see and hear
Without rivers of fears

I cannot walk your path without the acknowledgement
I desire from you
Not something I have to interpret
To understand enough to
Follow
You

I cannot think to eat to breathe
But you keep me up
I cannot live to see your face
I cannot live to see your grace

i cannot do tis
i'm so
very, very
sorry...
so
sorry.

© Victoria W., Arcadia, CA

The author's comments:
i just got bored
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 6 comments.

cheetoz45680 DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 11 2011 at 10:01 pm
cheetoz45680 DIAMOND, Bridgeport, Connecticut
88 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

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well yeah i don't like this one that much because like that chick said it doesn't have much rhythm.  work on it a bit and make it awesome and amazing like your other poems
secrets_of_silence GOLD said...
on Oct. 4 2010 at 4:35 pm
secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
12 articles 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
life had i loved the more
had it but passed away
as quietly as the day
ebbs from the darkening star.


-emanuel litvinoff

View profile

 

okay

Dunkelheitstieg BRONZE said...
on May. 7 2010 at 5:59 am
Dunkelheitstieg BRONZE, Baldwin, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The poet ranks far below the painter in the representation of visible things, and far below the musician in that of invisible things. Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?,"Leonardo da Vinci.

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Ok, well i honestly don't think there's anything at all wrong with the poem! Could u read the rest of my poems and comment?
secrets_of_silence GOLD said...
on May. 4 2010 at 8:53 pm
secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
12 articles 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
life had i loved the more
had it but passed away
as quietly as the day
ebbs from the darkening star.


-emanuel litvinoff

View profile

i agree. thanks

 

clh52 said...
on May. 4 2010 at 4:48 pm
this is pretty good. the only thing i'd say is that it needs a little bit more rhythm because as of now, it's interesting, but it's not entirely catchy.
secrets_of_silence GOLD said...
on Apr. 10 2010 at 1:52 am
secrets_of_silence GOLD, Gisborne, Other
12 articles 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
life had i loved the more
had it but passed away
as quietly as the day
ebbs from the darkening star.


-emanuel litvinoff

View profile
okay guys i know this is dreary but please please please give me critisism