I wrap myself in an imaginary caul,
pretend it is an iron shield.
I grab my red hat and baseball
to play with the kids in the field.
I accept my being a bananafish.
As opposed to being sad, I'm happy.
Perpetual happiness is what I wish.
I still think it is a possibility.
One of the children is crying.
It has brought me to horrorland.
I remember wishing I was dying
as I shush him and hold his hand.
He is blowing snot on my shoulder.
But, I really do not care.
I hold the kid tighter
as I stroke his hair.
No one should ever be sad.
The rye is a happy place.
I am getting mad
as I wipe the tears from his face.
Only, he sniffs and smiles.
He wraps his arms around my neck.
His grin is as wide as a mle.
He gives my cheek a peck.
He calls for another boy, Allie.
I put him on the ground.
He says, "Come with me."
I have never heard a happier sound.
I run through the rye
with all the little children.
I start a bawling cry.
I think this is heaven.