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?How?
Your smile took me by surprise
Have you forgotten?
You had been loved by another
Who left with a flash of lightning.
He left you for her
Leaving you bruised and hollow.
Your empty shell remains untouched
Not moving, not caring, not loving.
Sometimes you worry
Is he all right?
But this thought leaves quickly
As though swept away by the wind.
But now that he's gone
You notice things unknown before.
Stolen glances, whispered good-byes
And small meanings unknown to me.
So, now, after all this,
How can you smile?
You had been loved.
So who was the lightning that tore you apart?
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This article has 5 comments.
Very nice. I like your use of descriptive words to portray the feeling of being left by a loved one. I also like the organized structure of your poem into stanzas. That keeps it focused and helps the reader follow the poem's idea.
A few things at the end... Before the line "and small meanings unknown to me" I think a hyphen at the end of the previous line would add emphasis to the unknown little things that usually end a relationship. This is my suggestion for the last stanza:
How can you smile?/After having been loved/Then being torn apart/By the Lightning who loved you.
I feel like the use of "so" threw off the flow of the poem.
--HiddenWillow--
