I'm lost, feeling misplaced,
engaging in a sense of hopelessness.
I want more then to have you back,
but I need you to want to come back.
You're a missing piece to my life.
A chaotic piece,
A piece full of
memories,
hurt,
laughter,
love
and confusion.
Yet, somehow, this disorderly piece of life remains missed.
It feels as if life is fragmentary now.
Feeling the emptiness of this piece is laborious and exhausting.
This piece has traumatized me in ways unimaginable, uncountable times.
But regardless it remains missed.
It seems odd, almost sick to miss pain so,
It hurts, this empty hole, but the pain in missing you is much worse then the pain brought on by our togetherness.
Two different pains, two different hurts.
One is tolerable, the other however, is not.
It's becoming unbearable, an everyday struggle.
Two pains, one decision I cannot make alone.
The way it seems the choosing was done by you, of course.
For now I am trapped with this constant pain and anguish.
But the pain is lessened by the knowledge of your contentment.
So I will put on that fake smile I wear so well in an attempt to surface composure.