I demand more of myself than I could possibly survive.
I bend my self until breakage is an imminent hair breathes away.
I pile work upon problem upon burden unto my shoulders
As if I honestly believe I could carry it all.
I purposely, if not subconsciously, pressurize myself
Until I think I might die of invisible burns.
I add unrealistic nightmares and parodies into my head
Forcing myself, begging myself to have a taste of self indulgent pity.
Like an ignorant traveller cursing at his unmoving mule
When he was the one that had overloaded it in the first place.
I scream at myself as though I'd actually take my own reflection seriously.
It dosen't help that I always find my own dumb expression leering back.
I overstuffed myself and dived into a set iron mold
As if it had honestly been made specially for me.
And when I landed, all I could see
In a first eye's glance
Staring back, sending waves of montonous pity
Were thousands of other
Mute, self tormented, insecure
Teenagers like me.