you wait the whole school day for her

ten long periods

of what feels like anticipation

masked by something stronger

a feeling words can’t even

describe

that’s what she does to you

you almost trip as you race

down the stairway

because you’re so f***ing excited

so f***ing need to see her face,

that smile

like every light in the room

dawns itself on her

as she’s looking up at you

and you can’t help but feel the light beaming

from her face to yours

that’s what she does to you

there

there she was, in her white tank top

and black jeans

to match the pair you had on right now

she stands with her friends,

back faced towards you

she didn’t notice you yet but she will

you jokingly pull at the strap of her backpack

causing her to fall backwards 

right into you

it gets her everytime

except this time

the look in her face as she bends her neck backward

to meet your eyes

isin’t filled with light

this time she glares at you,

seemingly transforming that light

into tiny little lasers that shoot 

right

towards

you

suddenly, she drops something on the floor

right by your feet

when you look at what she was holding,

you almost faint

it was your gift to her

she stares you down before running off to catch

her friends

who all grimace at the sight of you

you’re so f***ing confused 

that at first you must have thought this was a joke

that this couldn’t be real

that she couldn’t have possibly gotten angry at you for something as mundane

as the gift you got her for christmas

so you reach out

hoping your arm was long enough to reach the 

strap of her backpack

it lands and you tug lightly

she falls right into you

before she scrambles to regain her balance

and while you whisper the word, “why,”

she’s already came up with her response

“i never wanted this.”