TW- mentions of self harm and definitive struggles with mental health.

if you feel alone or need help, always feel free to call or text 988 or a trusted suicide hotline.

I sound like

A broken record

With every word 

I say

“I’m sorry

Please”

“I love you

Please”

“Don’t leave me

Please”

I’m a

Broken

Record

So don’t leave 

Me when

I say

That 

I’m having trouble wanting

To live

Another day

I’m used

I’m scratched

But

Doesn’t mean

I’m useless

Yet i get thrown

Discarded

Cracked and

Broken

Scratched

And i 

Replay parts

And

I don’t know

If it makes you angry

But 

It’s just my

Second nature. 

I ask

But 

I have no 

Idea if 

You’re telling

Me 

The truth

Are you

Lying

Should 

I be 

Scared 

And 

Alone instead

A terminal

Kind of fear

Permanent 

Against the backdrop

Of 

Uncertantiy 

Is there

Something wrong

With me

That

Drives people 

Away

Right person

Wrong way

Wrong person

Wrong way

Wrong everything

Wrong 

Wrong

Wrong 

Wrong

Wrong

Stuck on repeat

It’s a cycle

It never ends

I’m trying to get it 

To 

stop

But 

It doesn’t work

Am i stuck this way

Can i be fixed

Am i alone forever

Am i just bad at

Relationships

Am i just

Misunderstood

Am i worth

Anything at all

To anybody

Does anybody really love 

Me

As a friend

A sibling

A lover

As a

Person

In 

A world

Just 

Trying to 

Make it 

Out alive. 

I try and fit in but I stand 

Out too much

I try and stand

Out 

But I disappear like

I never 

Mattered

Is this the 

Eternal pain

I’ve been sentenced 

To

Is this 

Why 

I 

Need 

Validation

Reassurance

Constantly 

Do i just

Disappoint 

Instead of bringing

Something

To the table

What is this world

And why

Am i 

stuck.

So i cut

My wrists

And i watch the

Blood

Roll down 

My arm

And

My pain

Temporarily vanishes

Just

For 

One

Moment.

Then it’s gone

Again

And then

I replay 

The same part

Over

Over

Over

Over 

Over 

Over and

Over

Over 

Again

And my friends say

Stop

And

I try

But it 

Doesn’t work

And i

Could try

And make it sound

Pretty

And nice

And in 

A neat

Little 

Package

Of flowery

Prose

I push

Others away

While 

I beg

Plead,

Even

For them to

Stay

And

I know

It’s a

Problem and

I’m trying

Trying

Trying 

Trying

Trying

Trying

To get 

Over with it

To end 

It 

But it’s a cycle and 

It happens

Over 

Over

Over

Over

Over

Over

And 

Over

And

Over

And over

In my own eternal prison

I take my 

Meds 

But it

Doesn’t work

I’m scared of everything

I’m too

Anxious to be

Alive

In this world 

I’m too

Sad

To allow change

I’m 

Too

Broken

Scratched 

And used

And 

Worthless