Try Not to Smile | Teen Ink

Try Not to Smile

April 12, 2023
By Anonymous

It’s stumbling on stones 

That are unknowingly, inevitably, jagged or smooth.

My school uniform crinkles and creases all sorts of ways

Even when I wish it didn’t

And I fluff the collar just a bit

With my own fingers,

Every crook and wrinkle and jutting bone 

Forever growing; changing

They are the picks to the locks of everything and anything

Except for your heart

Which is so soft

So moldeable

I long to iron it

And watch the creases be pressed out

Through the longing

Of my black pools.


Later on, crinkles and creases become okay with me.

I decide to rewear the uniform from that year

I even smell the remains of your ironed heart on it,

Not even needing a bone to unlock you.


The author's comments:

This piece means to reflect on the school friendships that never become anything more. It is a bittersweet phenomenon, being able to freely enjoy someone's company in a class or two, yet never knowing who they truly are in the real world. Sometimes, a school encases its students in a film that really can't be uncovered by a simple greeting in the hallway, or through small-talk in the lunch line. I always find myself regretting not investing in certain school friendships, yet I realize that it is never too late to take chances. 


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