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Try Not to Smile
It’s stumbling on stones
That are unknowingly, inevitably, jagged or smooth.
My school uniform crinkles and creases all sorts of ways
Even when I wish it didn’t
And I fluff the collar just a bit
With my own fingers,
Every crook and wrinkle and jutting bone
Forever growing; changing
They are the picks to the locks of everything and anything
Except for your heart
Which is so soft
So moldeable
I long to iron it
And watch the creases be pressed out
Through the longing
Of my black pools.
Later on, crinkles and creases become okay with me.
I decide to rewear the uniform from that year
I even smell the remains of your ironed heart on it,
Not even needing a bone to unlock you.
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This piece means to reflect on the school friendships that never become anything more. It is a bittersweet phenomenon, being able to freely enjoy someone's company in a class or two, yet never knowing who they truly are in the real world. Sometimes, a school encases its students in a film that really can't be uncovered by a simple greeting in the hallway, or through small-talk in the lunch line. I always find myself regretting not investing in certain school friendships, yet I realize that it is never too late to take chances.