My heart still skips a beat when I see anyone with hair like yours

My body still signers when I smell the same cologne

My heart still races when I see the model of you car

Loud noises still remind me of you

The fear never goes away

The way my body curdles when something reminds me of you have never changed

It’s not just the flash backs

Or nightmares

It’s the person standing on the corner of the street

The shadow in the corner of my eye

The smell of your favorite breakfast

The sound of shoes on the ground

The loud noise behind me

The back of a man on the street

It’s every single thing that relates to you

Most of the time

It’s feels like an endless list that may as well be the whole world

My mind still creates scenarios of seeing you

It’s been so many years

I still can’t shake the feeling like you are just around the next corner

It isn’t just my mind you have plagued

It is also in my body

In my mothers

In my sisters

It reacts without me even thinking

It jumps at loud noises

Shudders when something reminds me of you

Makes my heart race at every sound

It hyperventilates at the drop of a pen

You have infiltrated more then just my mind

You have left a permanent imprint on every cell organ and surface of my body

No matter how hard I try to forget I can’t

Because even if my mind found a way to forget my body never will