I poke holes with pins and needles in my chest,

To remind my heart you’re hurting me.

I wonder if you remember the map of my body

The winds and dips 

That have been and gone

My body isn’t molding the way you want it to,

So I’ll poke holes in my stomach too,

So you can caress me with content.

If you saw me again,

Would you still remember the way you held me,

And would you hold me the same?

I am a vessel,

A vessel hungry for love

Love has come and gone in my life,

It swarms around my head like bumblebees

You have made playgrounds in my mind

And you climb on my aching heartstrings from time to time 

You destroy my chances of fulfillment,

You, the silhouette of the man I truly desire

I have locked the chances of him away in my fingertips

For me to sprinkle out on barren pages,

On lonely starlit nights like these 

I desire adoration,

But when obtained it’s too much

I want to find a soul like mine,

But when I do I look in the mirror with critique 

I want to take the pins and needles out of my chest,

And use them to pick the locks that hold truth within.

But truth is a hard pill to swallow,

And the pins and needles keep me comfortably oblivious.

But the holes are growing larger,

Smoke seeping out of my lovesick cavities,

And I'm running out of thread to stitch and mend.