There are four seasons

Not the four seasons of weather, but the four seasons that I have become

Start with spring, we start out calm 

The breeze and the light rainfall

The glimpse of the soon-to-be summer sun healing any worries about what’s to come

The relief felt when you know that it’s just the start of the fun

We are going to be out soon, out of the darkness, the darkness that becomes of the place we can no longer outrun 

To summer

Always feeling outdoorsy

Having the ability to outrun anything we don’t want to become

Not even touched by the pressure of things we can’t outrun

No standards held over your heads in the darkness

No expectation on how to act, what to feel, who to be

You’re just free.

Any pinch of loneliness is easily released

The outlets are so tight nothing can come between, so tight that sometimes the lights in the air start to scream

The rush felt when the sand is too hot to even stand, the water is so cooling you wish this feeling will never end

Then the door closes behind us and we are in the dark, stuck

In the dark, there's nothing we can do but fall

The funny thing about fall, you don’t realize how quickly it comes

The breeze change, the colors rearrange, not too dark yet but you can’t see around the corner 

You can not see the path ahead and how far it goes 

The distance to the sun feels accomplishable but you have to get to winter in order to get through it all

Who knew you keep falling after the fall? 

Crashing down a dark inescapable tunnel

I am Stuck in the deep darkness of the winter

The winter that I can only wait through in order to survive

The darkness gets darker, I can’t see or hear

No one comes to pull me out

The blackout of my brain, they see it as all the same 

Maybe they tried but it was too dark I couldn’t see